Airports

Life is full of the unexpected. I am currently sitting in the Denver Airport during my journey home to Tennessee. The fact that I am going to be home for the holidays is still very surreal to me. I love Tennessee. It is home and always will be. The grass has always been a little bit greener in Tennessee. My family and childhood memories are on that sacred southern soil. However, my love for Tennessee is not the reason for this blog.

People are the motivator of this blog. I have a longs layover here and had had the chance to observe many people. I saw young couples and families traveling together and slightly envy them for what they have. I saw people who look like bikers. I saw a guy covered in hickeys. I saw rednecks. I saw people traveling alone and using their computers and iPods for entertainment. I had the opportunity to talk to a few people: a mother traveling to see their children, a guy who just visited his girlfriend, an middle-aged gentleman traveling to see his parents. It was so nice talking to these people. I find their stories fascinating. I initially made fun on one gentleman in my head. Needless to say that as I was eating my WolfGang Puck pizza I was shocked when he sat at the table beside me and started to talk to me. I had a nice conversation with the gentleman and felt guilty for making fun of him.

I am starting to ramble. The point of this blog is simply that it is great that we are all connected as members of the human race. We are all so completely diverse. Things such as love, family, and self-improvement motivate us all to keep going. I love the fact that we all seem to want to be our best according to our own personal belief system. Diversity is a wonderful and beautiful thing.

My Break-So Far

School got out last Friday. I am glad because I really, really needed a break. Yet, my break really hasn't even started. I've been working at the candy store a ton. Not that the candy store isn't every kids dream job. All you can eat chocolate, delicious smells, and sometimes you even find yourself covered in chocolate. But, I am simply tired of making truffles nonstop and only eating chocolate. I find myself nibbling a treats I don't even love. It is like I am just eating them to eat them. I may never want to see a scale again after this week!

On the bright side of thing I fly home in less than 48 hours. I love my family. I really do believe that my family gives me so much strength. As I have gotten older I have begun to realize how important family really is. I am blessed not only to associate with the best people on the planet, but to be related to them as well!

I really do have a lot to be grateful for. Life really is grand although I don't always see all the beauty it holds. It takes talent to always pick out the best/good things in life and to not pay close attention to the negative. Things don't always go my way and that irritates me a ton. However, I believe I am being provided with the experiences I need to become the best person I am capable of becoming.

Friends

I have the most amazing friends in the world! They have all taught me so much and helped me grow tons. This is actually my last week living near my three very best friends (outside of my family). So, in a week I will be taking applications for new best friends! (Joking....but seriously, call me if you wanna be BFFs.) These friends have taught me so much. I just want to list a few things I have learned from these amazing people:

1. Forgive! I had already learned this lesson but I am a grudge holder. I ex-friended one of my friends multiple times However, I was lucky that this person always forgave me and was willing to deal with my crazy.

2. Be your best self! It is okay to wear baggy clothes and not do your make-up every now and then. One must realize that these occasions should be few. My friends taught me how to love myself enough to care. Now, I try to look my best.

3. Be flexible! I learned that it doesn't always matter what I am doing as long as I am spending time with the people I love.

4. Listen! Friendships are give and take. I love how these people are always willing to listen to me and hold me when I need to be held. It is just as great as a blessing to be able to listen to them. I am glad they trust me enough to talk to me about life.

5. Laugh often! One thing I absolutely love about my friends is that we always laugh when we are around each other. I don't think I have ever been around these people and not shared lots of laughs.

6. Work Hard and Play Hard! Life is all about balance. I hated working hard to get everything done, but it was worth it to be able to be in the company of some of the best people in Rexburg.

I don't even think I could write all the things my friends taught me. Some things are too personal and other things are so significant that they are not even measurable. It will be hard watching these people move on with their lives. I hope that we find a way to always be a part of each others lives no matter how many miles we live away from each other. No matter how things turn out, these people have truly blessed my life. I believe they are part of my life for a reason. The scary part is not knowing for sure if this is the only season they will be part of my life. Like I said earlier; I hope not. But, I am a realist and know that things don't always happen or turn out the way you want them too. So, Dear Friends: I love ya'll tons and Good Luck figuring out the rest of life.

It happens...

I was driving home from work last night on the highway when suddenly I felt myself loosing control of my vehicle. It initially tried to slide into oncoming traffic. Luckily, I was able to prevent that from happening. I fishtailed between the two lanes for about 10-20 yards before I slid off the road. I slid into a sign and now the back of my car is messed up. I called some friends (I have the best friends in the world!) to come and get me. Before they could even get there, some other guys pushed me back into the road. The only damage that I can see is this dent and the back of my car is bowed out a little. My truck doesn't seem to want to stay shut all the way either.

However, I am thankful. I am thankful I did not slide into oncoming traffic. I am also really glad I had the sense not to yank my steering wheel and cause myself to flip. Although it sucks that I have to get my car fixed because of the sign, I am glad it stopped me. I don't think anything bad would have happened if it didn't, but you never know. Anyways, that was my drive home from work last night. I should have called in sick!

Life Lessons

So, I am 26 years old. You'd think I'd have life figured out by now, but figuring life out is a little harder than it sounds. So if anyone would like to figure out my life for me, feel free to do so, but I wish you luck in that endeavor. I have figured out a few things though. So, here are 26 life lessons I've learned.

1. You can't "make" someone do something such as like you or fall in love with you.
2. Life is about choices, choose wisely.
3. Change is the only constant in life.
4. Expect the impossible to actually happen.
5. Plans don't always work out.
6. Family is the most important thing in the world.
7. Laughter can make a bad day better.
8. Complaining never fixes anything, but it offers some relief.
9. God knows best.
10. Learn everything you can from your friends.
11. Sometimes it is a blessing when people walk out of your life.
12. Don't be afraid to cry.
13. Tell people how you feel. They can't read your mind.
14. Treat your body how you want it to treat you.
15. Chocolate and ice cream really do help when having a bad day.
16. Being a grown up isn't always fun, but you couldn't get me to relive my teenage years.
17. You never really grow out of awkwardness.
18. God has a hand in everything that happens in life.
19. Love doesn't make people change. Don't think your love can "save" someone from themselves. They have to make the choice to change. (See #1 and 2)
20. Books are one of the best creations ever.
21. If you need strength, go to the temple. You will find it there.
22. People will always surprise you, no matter how well you think you know them.
23. Have an attitude of gratitude.
24. Take time to look at the stars.
25. When you love someone, tell them.
26. Finally, as Dr. Seuss said, remember that "life's a great balancing act."

"Things as They Really Are"

Go on, ask me how I am doing. I will say Fine. In the movie The Italian Job, fine stands for freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. That pretty much sums me up lately. Anyways, I've had a talk by Elder Bednar on my mind a lot recently. He gave a talk a few years back entitled, "Things as They Really Are." In the talk he discussed reality and virtual reality. I don't think by any means I am addicted to virtual gaming. However, the title of the talk really catches my attention. How am I suppose to know how things really are? Usually, I understand my perspective and think I understand other people's perspectives. However I realize that I could have the exact same experiences as someone else, but our realities could be completely different. Vision in itself is a truly amazing thing. From my understanding, we really don't see everything we think we see. We see something, and our brains fill in the rest. How do I even know I am seeing the exact same thing as the person beside me? It is impossible to know. Thus, I don't know if it is possible to really see "things as they really are."

Maybe I am going crazy or thinking about things too much. I have had a ton on my mind lately and it feels like I have interpreted so many things in my life wrongly. I hate being wrong. However, I think one thing that is worse than being wrong is having no definite answer on rather you are right or wrong. In short, it sucks.

That is the end of my little rant. In short, life is good and I am fine.

It goes on...

Life seems to be and endless struggle. Yet, it is also filled with smiles, tickle fights, and experiences I'll never forget. So, I got a little too courageous this weekend; I don't regret it. I finally asked the boy I had liked for forever why he never took me on a date. Although his answer was vague (something about "feelings"), I am totally okay with everything now. I realized that in reality he was a bad idea anyways. I am glad I am able to let that idea go and be open to new opportunities. It is amazing how many opportunities we give up at times because we keep waiting for one particular opportunity. I am not going to lie, at first I was bitter, mad, frustrated, liberated, and a bit devastated. Now, I feel more liberated than anything. However, part of me wishes things were different, but for the most part, I really am okay and I am over it. So, I keep telling myself that. Now, my main concern is awkwardness. I am probably the most awkward girl in the world and I don't even realize I am awkward until I reflect on different experiences. I know where to go from here, but at the same time, I am so stinking lost! I look forward to seeing my sisters. I know that they will have lots of insight for me. That is only 2 weeks away.

I also know that I deserve somebody who can feel for me and fully appreciate me. Thus, I am glad this little "crush" is over. Because I know that somewhere, there is an amazing gentleman out there who is capable of making me so happy. He might not be what I am looking for, but he will be exactly what I need. Until this young man comes into my life, I am going to live it up! So, maybe I should thank ole boy for never taking me out. He gave me the opportunity to explore so many other roads. I am sure some of them will be rough, but if we didn't have rough roads in life how would we learn to appreciate the smooth ones?

This thing called life...

Life is crazy. I never know what to say or when to say the things I want to say. It is hard to know what I will or won't regret until I take a certain action. A lot of times, I feel like I am walking in the dark. I don't like walking in the dark. Life is too short to be filled with regrets, but how will I know what I will regret until after I have done or said something?

I feel like I used to be a lot more confident in my decision making skills. Now, I feel like I am the worst at making decisions. I think I used to think more with my head and now I think more with my heart. I hate that. My heart allows me to hope for things when I shouldn't always hope for them. It is my hope that life will magically work out. It takes more than hoping to live a fulfilling life.

I have been having a super hard time thinking about this semester coming to an end. Two of my good friends will be graduating and leaving. I have a fear of being alone when they move home. The solution would be to make more friends now, but I don't want to. I want to soak up every moment I can with these amazing friends before they leave. The problem is, life happens and time flies. Before you realize it, you are out of time and you haven't gotten all the things you wanted to accomplish accomplished.

In my head it all boils down to priorities. I understand that school and family should takes highest priority. But, I would like to make it high up on other peoples priority list, especially when I make them high on my list. Does that make me high maintenance? I sometimes feel guilty for this having particular mindset.

That's my life. Don't get me wrong, I am happy, but I am also confused. That doesn't make me happily confused. I think it makes me more naive than anything.

The Life I Love

Life has been crazy busy for me. I wake up, go to school, and then go to the library. At last, I get to go home and go to bed. However, I find myself extremely happy! Why? I really have no clue. The boy I like doesn't like me back, I don't always get my way, school is overwhelming, and sometimes I feel like I am barely making it. What can you do though? Maybe, I have finally come to understand how to accept all the chaos and uncertainty life brings. Maybe, I stay so busy that I have less time to think. Maybe, I have chosen not to let other people's choices negatively affect me. Maybe, I have learned that it is okay that I am not perfect. Maybe, I am finally really okay with the way my life is turning out. I don't know the cause, but I truly am happy.

I miss my family back home a ton. I am excited to see them all at Sandra's wedding. I really am so happy for Sandra. It will be fun to get to know Brent a little better when I go home. I am excited to see all the kids when I go home as well. Those little munchkins bring so much joy in my life. I have to get enough love to last me at least a year every time I see those kids. I have been doing a service practicum at a pre-school lately. I have fallen in love with those little kids as well, even if they are bad...and I mean really, really bad! I get to student teach next summer. I really am excited to work with the kids. I love them so much. It is amazing how much joy those little squirts can bring into your life.

Other than that, I am just living my life. We had our first snow in Rexburg this week. I am not excited about the winter, but it must come eventually. I smile because I think this will be my last winter here in Rexburg. However, I know I will miss this town so much. I really am doing okay here. I'll admit, I get homesick at times and wish I had my Charity here, but I have the most amazing friends in the world. They have no clue how much they have positively influenced my life and sadly I am too prideful to let them know the full effect they have had on my life. Yes, sometimes they make me so mad, but they are willing to deal with my crazy, and I love them for that.

This is my life...and I love it. I only have short period of time left in this season of my life. Soon, it will be time to move to another season. It is scary not knowing what that season is or where it will for sure take place, but I trust that my Heavenly Father knows better than me. It truly is comforting when you learn how to truly put your trust in him. Honestly, I don't know how much I really trust him with my life, but I am learning how to trust him more and more everyday.

More Facts

I wrote 26 things you might not know about me for my 26th birthday. Now, I am just writing more random facts about me for the fun of it. Enjoy!

1) I love to star gaze and cuddle. It would be amazing to do this as a date with someone I care about.
2) Tootsie Roll pops rock my world. I can successfully eat them without biting them most of the time.
3) I often dream of falling in love and being loved in return. When I wake up I am disappointed that my dream had to end. In reality, I am not sure I will really ever find someone to fall in love with that will love me back.
4) I can't wait to have kids! They are adorable. I think being a woman is great.
5) When no one is home, I run around in my undies or without clothes.
6) Sometimes I cry for the most ridiculous reasons.
7) I am paranoid and insecure. I hope for the best and usually assume the worst.
8) I love a good pedicure. I feel like such a girl when my nails are actually done and look nice.
9) Pizza is one of my favorite foods!
10) I fear I might not be a successful teacher.
11) I collect books. I really do love them and try to read often.
12) I care way to much about what other people think.
13) The library may or may not be my official second home.
14) I am shy.
15) I have a ton of walls up. When I get scared, paranoid, sad, feel vulnerable, or start feeling a little insecure I put up even more walls.
16) Part of the reason I fear the unknown so much is because I fear failure so much.
17) My family is the best. They rock my world.
18) If my life were a movie, it would be a comedy.
19) I have a hard time using commas appropriately.
20) I still wouldn't want to know if I had one more day to live.

There are 20 new facts about me. Hope you enjoyed.

Dear Sandra, With Love

I have been contemplating our phone conversation the other day. You know, the one where you bluntly told me that I need to stop looking for the perfect man and start looking for the man that is perfect for me. Here is my official response:

It is much easier to look for a perfect man. Why? Because perfect is easily defined: attractive, strong (bulging biceps and all), smart, ambitious, great kisser, potential to be a great father one day, fun, outgoing, ability to love me even when I am crazy, loves sunsets and stargazing, clean, smells good all the time, makes me laugh, and can have intelligent arguments with me one minute and make me giggle like I am five the next. I am sure I could add many, many more things to my list. However, this is not addressing the issue. I am absolutely positive there are very few, if any, men who are deserving of the title perfect.

The issue is that I have no clue what the perfect man for me is like. I cannot define him. I don't think I can define him without getting to know him first. Maybe I should take the time to get to know myself better as well. Getting to know him and myself are both very scary things. I don't want to take the chance to get to know him. For taking that chance means chancing rejection. I have had enough rejection to last me for a lifetime. But even worse, what if as I get to know myself I find myself so flawed that I begin not to like myself?

Thus, I think I will maintain my stance that I should be overly picky and look for the perfect guy. It is easier and seems to be much less risky.

Love Always,
Becky

"Where were you when the world stopped turning?"

Nine years ago our lives were forever changed. It is crazy that time passes so quickly. As I contemplate 9/11 I can't help but to wonder where the families of those who died that day are today. Then, I think of the fallen soldiers that have been fighting for our rights. It is so easy to take our lives and our rights for granted. This is a day that I believe I will always solemnly remember that people continue to fight and perish so I can listen to my favorite radio station or pray to my God.

Growing up, I never believed I would experience something as "big" as 9/11. During elementary school I was prompted to ask the older generations about The Great Depression or Vietnam War. My nieces, nephews, and other children will ask me about 9/11. I will provide them with my story. No one who was alive and old enough to remember will forget where they were on 9/11. The nation's eyes were glued to the news coverage.

It is my prayer that we remember those who lost their lives and continue to do so. I also hope that we will be able to share our story of 9/11 with future generations. This is my plan! Then I will boldly stand and say, "I'm proud to be an American!"

Armor, Flaws, and Testimony

My mind has been going crazy lately. I feel as if I've had more changes than usual in my life. It is crazy. But the three things that have occupied my mind the most are armor, flaws, and testimony.

Armor

I wear so much armor and I can't figure out why I protect myself so much. Honestly, I feel as if I don't let people know the real me. People usually only see the strong Becky, but I am a complete squish. Really, I hate being tenderhearted, but my only other option is to be hardhearted. I feel too much and show my feelings too little. I don't want to keep people out, but I am too scared to really let them in. This really is something I need to work on.

Flaws

I am so flawed. I don't like not being perfect. When I make a mistake, I feel so bad. I am constantly recognizing things I could improve on, but it seems like I do little to improve. This is difficult because I really do try. I know I could be quieter and more tactful, but I fail every time I try to be these things. I really am a shy person, so I don't know why I struggle with these things. Maybe they are part of my armor. I may never know.

Testimony

Don't get me wrong, I know the church is true and I am loved by my Heavenly Father. However, I feel as if my testimony could be so much stronger. I really want to work on strengthening my testimony. Not that it is weak, but I know it could be so much stronger. I have truly felt Heavenly Father's love for me recently. However, I often feel so inadequate and undeserving of such a pure love. This isn't how I should be feeling. It is comforting to know that I am not the only person who has ever felt this way. There are multiple examples of prophets feeling the same way in the scriptures. I also know that this isn't the way my Heavenly Father would want me to feel. I really want to become perfect, even as his son Jesus Christ. I know I can, but it isn't such an easy thing to do.

Risks

It seems as if life is simply one big risk. Really, everything we do is a risk. When I drive somewhere I risk wrecking. When I straighten my hair by the sink I risk being electrocuted. When I am honest (or lie) we risk hurting other people. Then there are the risks such as falling in love or putting yourself "out there." It is amazing how nothing in life is certain. There is a quote that I really enjoy that says something to the extent of, "The greatest risk in life is not to take risks." Although I really do love that quote, I don't understand how we cannot not take risks. Yet, risks come is sizes. You could rate them on a scale from one to ten. Straightening my hair is probably a one while dropping out of school would be a seven or eight. But then, what type of risk constitutes a ten. I thought about "single" people issues such as telling a boy you like him, but then I thought, that'd only be a three or four on the risk scale. Sure, it's an emotional risk, but what's the worse that can happen? Exactly, you don't end up with him and you soon find another boy to like. So, if taking risks (and I should specify moral ones) defines an individual to point and is what life is all about, I am curious what a ten would be. I love adrenaline rushes! I even went skydiving last year, but I don't think that would even be a ten. One thought crossed my mind that having the courage to face each new day could be a ten. Life is hard. I think everyone has wanted to give up at some point. You know, when you get to the point where you dread the next day because things could always get worse, but you also look forward to it because it could be a turning point where everything begins to get better. I don't know if I am making any sense to ya'll or myself. I honestly want to live everyday to the fullest, but it seems like in order to do that I have to take bigger risks. It is hard to figure out what type of risks I want to take. I really don't mind the physical risks. The emotional risks are what will get me.

Amazing Dinner

So, I am out of school for 7 weeks. What's a girl to do when she has nothing to do? The answer...Cook. That's exactly what Megan and I did on Monday. We made pineapple steak, potatoes, salad, rolls, and fun drinks. We even set the table all kinds of cute. Our only downfall was that we are grill incompetent. It took us forever to figure out how to work the grill and get it lighted! I wanted to show you guys how cute we are, so here's a picture.

A Very Fun Weekend!

I love the 4th of July. It is pretty much my favorite holiday. Parades, sunshine, grilling out, ice cream, and fireworks--what more could a girl ask more? (Don't answer that question.) My weekend was full of fun. After work on Friday night, I went over a friend's house and played night games. Saturday morning I went to the Rexburg parade. It was so cold! By cold, I mean 55 degrees and very windy. The 4th of July is supposed to be warm, but it wasn't :(. That wasn't going to be a day ruin-er for me though. After the parade, I went to a bbq. Grilled out foods are bomb. That night, I ate with mom and Charity. We went to the fireworks on the Snake River. They were so beautiful. There is something about fireworks that almost make me believe in magic, almost. I feel as if I two again and all my dreams really will come true.

On Sunday, I spent the morning with Charity. That evening was filled with a water fight, dinner, and (you guessed it) more fireworks. These fireworks were unique though. It was put on by a group in Idaho Falls who protested to keep the 4th on the 4th. I felt as if I were at the Boston Tea Party. The people were yelling and screaming because, "This is proof that one person could make a difference." The fireworks weren't amazing, but they were fireworks.

On Monday I went swimming in a lake. It was kind of chilly, but it was fun. Everyone loves a relaxing day in the sun. Monday night I went to a carnival and more fireworks. They were right over my head and filled the sky as I laid under them. It was nice. Mom came with me Monday. She is way cute.

I really do enjoy having mom in town. I know she misses home and is so sad she isn't with all her grandchildren there. It is such a blessing to have her out here. Charity is really glad she is around too.

That was a brief overview of my weekend. In short, it was amazing! I am so glad to live in this amazing country and for all the freedoms we enjoy. We really are blessed.

Confessions of a Student

I know, its been a while since I blogged. I have a legit reason though, my life is boring. Between school and work, I stay so busy! It is no fun. What can you do though? So inspired by the movie and book, "Confessions of a Shopoholic", I thought I would write a blog entitled, "Confessions of a student." I don't have much to confess, but here we go.

I don't shower every day. If I don't shower, I don't have to worry about blow drying my hair. If my hair isn't done, is there really a point to putting on make-up? So lets take 15 minutes for the shower and 30 minutes for the hair and make-up and voila, I get to sleep in an extra 45 minutes. Then if I don't look good, I can't go play. This gives me an extra hour for homework or a nap during the day. Yes, I have thought the whole "no shower" thing through this much.

I love, I mean really LOVE, sleep. Sleep is one of my favorite things. I find myself sleeping whenever I can. Something about school makes me sleepy. Naptime during class should be mandatory.

I'm a texter. I made a goal one day to not text in class or while driving. I failed. Is it really my fault if I don't find the teacher engaging enough to keep my attention?

My diet is horrible. There is no balance. I get lots of bread and very little of everything else. Is there a way to balance it? Eating good takes time. Whenever I buy fresh produce, it goes bad before I have time to eat it. My meals are usually on the go. Crackers, carrots, and P&B sandwiches keep me full.

Sometimes, instead of studying I stare at a blank computer screen. Often, this is more stimulating than studying. Then I ask, "Can I drop out of school?" Lame. I actually make a list of pros and cons of dropping out. Even before I make the list, I know I will not drop out. However, this keeps me from studying. I wonder how much time is wasted making my little lists. Ironically, a lot of times the pros of dropping out outweigh the cons. What am I doing with my life?

I know it is time to do laundry when I run out of underwear. Laundry takes so long; an hour in the wash then another hour to dry! This doesn't include the time it takes to put away the laundry. I can't leave it unfolded. My OCD creeps up on me. But yes, I will wear the same clothes over and over again, until I run out of undies.

Well, those are a few of my lame confessions. My life is pretty boring. Most of the time, I have to make things sound much more exciting than they really are. One thing that is kind of pathetic is that I have to look for a guy to force myself to have a crush on. Crushes make life exciting because you wonder if they like you back. The problem is, I have to find a guy that I can care if he likes me back or not. No need for to me to exaggerate how lame and pathetic my life can be though. Wish me luck with life! Until next time.

Memorial Day

I absolutely, positively love America. Honestly, I don't know if it is because it is the land I was born in or if is the land of opportunity. Today, Memorial Day, not only marks the beginning of summer, it is a day of remembrance. It is difficult not to remember the fallen soldiers who have taken and stand and have diligently fought for what they believe in. These brave men and women have helped paved the way for us to enjoy so many things that others are not blessed enough to enjoy. There is a quote that states something like this, "How fortunate we are to live in a country where happiness is more than absence of tragedy." Hopefully, we will all remember this when life gets a little bit harder than we wish it were.

The Birthday!

I had a birthday celebration yesterday, and it was pretty much amazing! I started celebrating on my birthday eve. My roommates and I went to get late night ice cream. We had a fun car ride filled with music from various musicals and Disney movies. We initially went to Wendy's, but they had closed. It was off to Dairy Queen we went. I was so excited! Everything was birthday eve stuff. I had birthday eve ice cream and water. My order number was 45. I was so out of it. This kid asked me if I was 45 and I replied, "Almost." He was talking about my number, not my age.




After a crazy Dairy Queen trip, I went to pick up some papers from our guy friends. They took forever printing them off. It was fun playing with those kids for a few minutes.



We made it home! How else do you bring in a birthday besides a dance party? We all (roommates and I) put on fun dresses and danced until midnight. At midnight we toasted 26 years of Becky's life with sparkling cider. It was definitely a fun night.

I woke up on my birthday to a door decorated with balloons and ribbons. When I walked into the living area to thank my roommates for such a pleasant surprise, I found it was filled with balloons and ribbons as well. I loved it and could not stop smiling.

I had to go to school. I wasn't skipping. After class, I went to work on a project, but the girl that I was working on it with and I could not figure it out. Charity had invited me to go to the temple with her, so I went. It was nice. The ladies at the temple were so funny. I am glad that Charity invited me. What a great way to show thanks for life!

After the temple, Charity took me to get a cupcake from the CoCo Bean. I love their cupcakes. We just hung out and played together until I took a little birthday nap and then headed off to a group. After my group, Rob taught me how to ride his motorcycle. I love it! I want a motorcycle so badly now.

After learning how to ride a bike, Charity took me to dinner at Craigo's. She planned a surprise party for me with my favorite people there. I loved it. For ya'll who know about my farmville addiction, one of my friends got me a farmiville gift certificate, along with yummy chocolates. Gotta love it.

After dinner, it was off to my apartment for cake and ice cream. Earlier in the day, Charity and I made funfetti cupcakes colored orange and pink. We swirled the colors together and they turned out beautiful. We played and laughed at my apartment. It was a fun night.

I really did have a great day. It was crazy, fun, and busy. I couldn't have asked for a better birthday. Charity has more pictures from my actual birthday. When I get them on my computer, I will post more.

26 Things You May Not Know About Becky

Last year I wrote 25 things I was grateful for on my birthday. This year, you get to learn 26 things you might not know about me to celebrate my birthday. I am sure you will know a lot of it already because I am a pretty open person.

1) I love raw pasta.
2) Dance parties with my roommates rock my socks.
3) If I could be an animal, I'd be a monkey.
4) I don't know everything...yes, I know that's a shocker.
5) My favorite candy bar (you can get at any store) is Twix.
6) I love plaid.
7) Sometimes I randomly buy men's neck ties.
8) The Millionaire Match Maker (a t.v. show) is one of my guilty pleasures.
9) I rely on spell check way too much, my real spelling kind of stinks.
10) I secretly like doing art, even if I'm not that great at it.
11) I use shower crayons to write and draw in the shower.
12) I am somewhat OCD.
13) Ryan Reynolds may or may not be the most attractive actor out there.
14) I don't like wearing clothes if I am at home.
15) I love Dr. Pepper and drink it often, even though I say I don't drink carbonated beverages.
16) I think grilling out should be a man's job...and the woman's job is to eat the medium rare steak he cooks for her.
17) I'm a procrastinator.
18) When I get bored in class, I use my laptop to do online shopping.
19) Sometimes I let myself believe in fairy tales.
20) When making s'mores, I purposely burn my marshmallows.
21) I have a crush on Micheal Scott and Dwight Shrute.
22) I google random things...like mail order husbands.
23) I can watch chick flicks 24/7. They make me want to dream. Yes, I'm a hopeless romantic.
24) I don't think their are many people out there who really know me as a person.
25) I wouldn't want to know if I only had one day left to live.
26) I enjoy making people feel awkward.

And for my one to grow on...The park may be my favorite place on the face of the Earth!

I hope you learned something new about me. Enjoy the day!

The 25th Year

It is hard to believe that my 25th year of life will be ending in less than 24 hours. I am mildly depressed that so much of my life has passed by and I haven't accomplished the things I feel as if I should have accomplished by now. I wonder what my self 10 years ago would have said if she could see me now. Would I be proud of myself or wonder where my life has went? Life is truly a growing experience. Although I don't feel like it, I am sure I have grown a lot over the past year. I finished another year of school and even had some fun along the way. Although I am not blessed enough to have a family of my own, I am blessed with a wonderful family and many beautiful nieces and nephews. I really do love kids. I struggle with the fact that I may not have the opportunity to become a mother (Although, I still feel it could happen.) It is a blessing to have Mike and Amy's kids near and to interact with kids at elementary schools. If I never have kids, I will be able to love my students as my own. Part of me believes I choose to major in Elementary Education so I could for sure always be around children. They are delightful...except when they're not.

My 26th year probably holds some pretty exciting adventures in it as well. It will be fun to face them. This is my last year in Idaho. I will not lie, I am excited to leave but I will miss Idaho a lot (not that I have a desire to stay here). I have grown a lot here and I feel like I have spent a lot of time here discovering myself. I don't know if we ever "really" know ourselves. We are constantly changing. As soon as we think we have it all figured out, we realize how clueless we are. I know I am starting to ramble, but I felt as if I needed to write one more blog as a 25 year old. Half my twenties are over! Goodbye 25 and welcome new experiences with 26.

How Much Am I Worth?

This is an article I found on line. I was first introduced to a chart that showed this information in my anatomy class. Anyways, if you are ever feeling down about yourself or life, this will just make you feel worse. Nonetheless, we can still take comfort that we are made out of stardust!

A great number of people have spent a great deal of human and
financial resources calculating the composition of, prior to the
decomposition of, and the worth, or worthlessness of, the human body.

When we total the monetary value of the elements in our bodies and the
value of the average person's skin, we arrive at a net worth of $4.50!

This value is, however, subject to change, due to stock market
fluctuations. Since the studies leading to this conclusion were
conducted by the U.S. and by Japan respectively, it might be wise to
consult the New York Stock Exchange and the Nikkei Index before
deciding when to sell!

The U.S. Bureau of Chemistry and Soils invested many a hard-earned tax
dollar in calculating the chemical and mineral composition of the
human body, which breaks down as follows:

65% Oxygen (yes, we are mostly hot air)
18% Carbon
10% Hydrogen
3% Nitrogen
1.5% Calcium
1% Phosphorous
0.35% Potassium
0.25% Sulfur
0.15% Sodium
0.15% Chlorine
0.05% Magnesium
0.0004% Iron
0.00004% Iodine

Additionally, it was discovered that our bodies contain trace
quantities of fluorine, silicon, manganese, zinc, copper, aluminum,
and arsenic. Together, all of the above amounts to less than one
dollar!

Our most valuable asset is our skin, which the Japanese invested their
time and money in measuring. The method the Imperial State Institute
for Nutrition at Tokyo developed for measuring the amount of a
person's skin is to take a naked person, and to apply a strong, thin
paper to every surface of his body. After the paper dries, they
carefully remove it, cut it into small pieces, and painstakingly total
the person's measurements. Cut and dried, the average person is the
proud owner of fourteen to eighteen square feet of skin, with the
variables in this figure being height, weight, and breast size. Basing
the skin's value on the selling price of cowhide, which is
approximately $.25 per square foot, the value of an average person's
skin is about $3.50.

I'll Take It

I only have a year left at BYU-Idaho. I will confess that I am stoked. Yet, my life hasn't turned out quite how I imagined it would. I even have a dream board full of dreams that were suppose to be coming true by this point in my life. I am almost 26 years old. Surely by this time in my life prince charming was supposed to have found me and we should be on our way to eternal bliss. Yet, here I am, single and wondering if this prince will ever come and find me. I remember a guy friend saying a while ago that he imagined finding a girl and being some sort of hero by saving her. I think some people view saving as some heroic act, yet it would be nice for a guy to come into my life and save me from myself. At times, I feel like I can be quite the narcissist and not even realize it. Yes, I'll admit, I want the whole marriage thing. I would like to find my best friend and spend everyday for eternity with him. (Or he could find me.) Still, I feel as if I have a ton of walls up and it will take a bulldozer to knock them down. Not only do I want a best friend to come home to, I want someone to cuddle whenever and to take care of and they take care of me. Growing up, I had three main qualities I'd like in a husband, and I am still sure I want just those three. The three are:
1) He makes me happy and can make me laugh.
2) He makes me want to be a better person.
3) He honors his priesthood.
Really, is that too much to ask for? (I will admit, each quality has subcategories, such as physical attraction and ambition.) I think if me and this person ever meet, it will be worth the wait, but it is super hard to be patient. One this person finds me (or I find him) I know eternities could never be enough time for me to spend with him. It will be fun growing in so many ways with this person. Until then though, I guess I'll just be "wishin and hopin and thinkin and dreamin each night of his charms."

Mom

I will not lie, I have been easily influenced by many people in my life. Sometimes, it is for the best, and sometimes it isn't. Out of all the people that have had any influence on my life, my mom is at the top of the list. I love my mom so much. She is a magnificent lady, even if she doesn't recognize. It is hard to see that she doesn't always realize her talents and potential. My mom is one of the people in my life that let me know it is okay to dream. I am sure everyone's mom told them they could be anything they wanted when they "grew up." I am still growing up and I still believe my mom when she tells me I can be anything I want to be when I "grow up." Mom is also a great person to talk to most of the time. She always wants to solve our problems for us. I think it is because she is such a nurturer. She is also one of the best people in the world to snuggle up to. I live far away from my mom, so I don't get to snuggle with her often, but I love it when I do. It is very intimidating for me to know that if I get the chance to be a mother, I have such high expectations to live up to. I am not saying I want to do everything as she did, but I am saying she performed, and continues to perform, the job of motherhood well. She is one of the elite women in the world that is worthy of the name, "Mother." I love you mom!

The New Calling

I got my calling for this semester...and I do not like it. I actually tried to turn it down three times, but bishop wouldn't take no for an answer. What could be the worse calling for a busy college student? Gospel Doctrine Teacher. I've had the calling before and enjoyed it, I am just nervous about finding time to prepare lessons. It will be interesting to see how it turns out. I still can't believe bishop wouldn't let me turn it down though!

Identity Crisis

Have you ever been through an identity crisis? You know, where you don't feel as if you know yourself, know what you really want, or know what you are doing with your life? Its really kind of depressing. Well, I feel as if I am going through one now. I am really trying hard to "rediscover" myself, but it is harder than I imagined it would be. I feel completely vulnerable, which makes me moody, and I HATE it!!! I really feel like I am doing what I need to be doing with my life right now, so I don't know why I am struggling with the listed questions. It is nice just knowing things. I like to know what I am doing on a daily basis (not to say I don't like a little spontaneity) and where I am going with my life. My life has gotten so out of control! I don't know what I am going to do each day. Even with school and work, it is so overwhelming that I have no clue which assignments I will choose to do. And as for being out of control, I hate it. I don't like giving up control. I am such a control freak that I have to control my desire to control. It is kind of pathetic. Maybe that is one of the reasons I am still single, I haven't found a guy I trust enough to relinquish any control I do have over my life (which is not that much) to give him any. However, I don't feel independent at all, which is odd since control is such a big thing for me. Anyways, those are my random ramblings for today. Hope I didn't sound too terrible pathetic. Until next time.

All the Same

I haven't blogged in forever, and I apologize for that. However, my life is pretty much the same. I work, go to school, and try to squeeze friend time in the mix. Although I am only in my first week of the semester, I feel like I am already so busy. Only a year left! So this semester, I decided to really work on improving myself. I am going to try to eat healthy (that part's not going to well), exercise, and improve my emotional and social health. If you have any suggestions on things I could improve on, throw them out there. I really want people to see me for me. Lately, I feel as if I have put up a ton of walls. I don't know if my closest friends really know the "me" I would like them to know. However, when you let people know who you really are as a whole person, you become somewhat vulnerable. I feel vulnerable enough without adding anything else in the mix. Yet, I feel like I need to become more open. Anyways, just a thought. We'll see how it goes. I am not saying I will wear my heart on my sleeve and be the creepy type of open, but I will let people know, in a tactful way, what I am really feeling. Anyways, that's my random rambling. Let me know what you think I should work on!

New Blog

So, I have started a new blog that everyone is welcome to read. I still plan on posting a few things on this blog, but I seem to be posting a ton of new things on my new blog. I have invited all my roommates to be authors and hopefully they will post. That's right...we are starting an apartment blog. I think it will be fun to read. The blog is www.byuilife.blogspot.com. Happy reading!

Finding Joy in the Journey

I just read an article entitled, "Letters to a Young Teacher." It discussed the inherent value each child has and the author seemed to write the letters/article to ensure that children are looked at as children, not as investments for our future economy. I really liked the authors viewpoints. Children deserve to go to school and find wonderment and happiness, as well as to learn. However, what really struck me was a letter he wrote discussing his conversations with Mr. Rogers. I love Mr. Rogers, and grew up watching him and his magical neighborhood on t.v. He discussed how Mr. Rogers had never really let his inner child escape him and that was one reason he was able to reach so many children. I really hope that I am able to do the same. I don't want to grow up! I want to stay youthful, energetic, and playful. These characteristics can help make me a great teacher. Hopefully, they will allow me to see children as human beings, not just future economic investments. I really hope that I will find a way to help children who come from the worse circumstances find "joy in the journey." Hopefully, when these kids believe that they can trust no adults, they find a way to let down that barrier and trust me. Kids are amazing! I love them a lot and I am so excited for the opportunity that I will have to one day teach them and see the light in their eyes as they learn new concepts.

Livin My life

I don' t have much to say, so I guess I will just ramble. Life has been super busy. The semester is coming to an end. I only have one more day to teach my second graders and I miss them already. I really do think my class was the best class ever! I am so excited to enter into the teaching profession. Although the thought petrifies me at times, I am sure I will do well at it.

Sandra got me addicted to The Hunger Games series. I loved them! I am anticipating the third one in August. I am already looking for spoilers online. It's only been day since I finished the second book, but the suspense is killing me. Katniss and Peeta better end up together.

I started thinking about two things today. One, I wonder if my life is passing me by without be even realizing it. I seem to rush everything and I feel like I never have enough time in the day. Lately, I've been feeling guilty because I haven't seen my family as much as I ought too. I will miss them all when the move away. Guess it'll be me against the world when they do.

My second thought is about how little I know about other people. I wonder if I am too self absorbed and consumed in my own life that I neglect to notice various things about other people. Talking to one of my roommates today helped me realize this. She told me a lot and I realized how very little I knew about her after we had lived together for a few months. Maybe this is an example of life flying by as well.

Ginny got baptized yesterday. I am super sad I wasn't able to be there. I am so proud of her decision. I know that she has the potential to do great things in life and the ability to do whatever she chooses to do.

That's my life. It's full of To Do lists and homework and it's passing by to quickly. However, I love it! I have a wonderful family and great friends. Although my life is full of stress, it is also full of laughter. Even though I might not even know what I was laughing about the next day. Maybe its exhaustion, or maybe its happiness. I don't know.

Happy Birthday Pops!

I love my dad. He is one of the most exceptional men I know, even if he is a little crazy. I have several memories with dad. Dad has the strength of a gladiator. He is such a gentle giant. Dad also loves his scriptures. He taught me early morning seminary for four years, and I don't think I was the best student. It was not uncommon to see dad sitting at the dining room table reading his scriptures. The greatest thing dad ever taught me was to love the scriptures. Dad is also an extremely hard worker. He works hard to provide for his family, even when he hasn't always loved his job. I love you dad and hope your birthday has been amazing!

Big Syd

Charity has given me a nickname: Big Syd. I don't know why, but everyone tells me I look like her, even though I have been around 20 years longer than her. She is truly adorable. I love her sweet hugs and kisses. Anyways, I wanted an excuse to put a picture of us up.

For Mike and Amy

This is my life...

I come home from work or school everyday and ask my wonderful roommates the same question: "What are we doing with our lives?"  To this question I pose and answer:

1) Living our lives

2) Laughing

3) Reaching our divine potential

4) Loving

5) Learning who we really are

6) Discovering ourselves

7) Living the dream

8) Preparing for the future

I also decided to put a few pics up from my life.  Enjoy!

Falling Apart

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you are falling apart?  This morning I woke up in time to do my hair and make-up.  I also had a good breakfast.  I looked cute and I was definitely put together.  About 10 minutes after arriving on campus I began to fall apart.  I accidentally wrote on my suede skirt.  Then I attempted to use a Tide To Go pen to clean it up.  I stained my skirt.  Next, a button fell off of my vest.  It gets better, I found out I had a paper due today in the class I was sitting in that I had no clue about!  What can you do?  I guess today just hasn't been my day.  All together, though, "It is what it is."  Hopefully my day will get lots better.  If not, I'll just have to think like Miss Scarlett O'Herra, "After all, tomorrow is another day."

Discovering What Type of Eggs I Like

It's obvious, I am 25 and single.  I don't really love this.  However, it is nice to look back and laugh when I look at all the different types of boys I have had crushes on in my life.  Let me tell ya, they've all been different.  I was talking to my sister, Sandra, about this.  She reminded me of the movie Runaway Bride.  The main character always conformed to the type of person her prospective grooms wanted.  She didn't even know what type of eggs she liked.  Then I wondered, "Do I really know what type of eggs I like, figuratively speaking?"  I really do think that part of the fun of finding your special someone is finding yourself.  Maybe that is something I need to work on before I am blessed with my eternal companion.  I don't want to conform to what he wants and then twenty years down the road realize that I hate everything about him and what I've become.  So, maybe my quest for this year shouldn't be to find my special someone; maybe it should be to discover myself.  Only then can I really engage in a fulfilling relationship. (You like how I used the word engage...so maybe next year I will find myself engaged! LOL)

Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day, my second favorite holiday.  I didn't have a boy Valentine this year and Sandra is in TN; thus, she couldn't be my Valentine.  On Friday, I asked my friend Megan to be my Valentine since we were both boyless. That's when my Valentine's Day started.  That afternoon, we did a Valentine's Day party for my students.  They all got me a small Valentine's.  The cards were adorable.  I really loved them all.  I also got adorable homemade cards in the mail from Ginny and Aubree.  Then, this morning Megan woke up at 4:00 a.m.  She came and crawled in bed with me.  It made me so happy.  When we finally woke up, my roommate Erin served us breakfast in bed.  My day only got better.  Megan and I exchanged Valentine's.  I got her a box of Twix from Sam's Club and she got me a basket full of goodies!  Then, my FHE brothers came over this morning.  They got me a small box of candy, a red stuffed bear, and a red rose.  They really are the greatest.  I can't wait to see what else is in store for me today!  This really has been an amazing Valentine's Day.

ABC's

Age: Quarter of a Century
Bed size: Twin...I'm a poor college student
Chore I hate: Floor Boards
Dog's name: I wish I had one to love
Essential to start my day: Wake Up
Favorite color: Hot Pink and Bright Orange
Gold or silver: Silver
Height: 5'5
I am:Getting ready for class...ughhh
Job: Behavioral Health Center and Sarah's Candy Cottage
Kids: One day...sigh
Living arrangements: Apartment with 4 roommates
Mom's name: Porla Diane
Nickname: Becky, Boo
Overnight hospital stay: None I remember, but I've had a few I don't remember
Quote from a movie: "Your biceps are huge, Kiss me!" House Bunny
"I'm kind of a big deal" Anchorman
"If you love nothing you fear nothing. If you fear nothing, what joy is there in life?" First Knight
"That's what we do, we fight! You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when your being a pain in the ass, which you are 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings! You have like a 2 second rebound rate and then your back to doing the next pain in the ass thing. I'm saying it's not gonna be easy, it's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at it, everyday, but I wanna do that. Cuz I want YOU! I want all of you.... you and me, together everyday....for the rest of our lives." The Notebook
Right or left handed: Right
Siblings: Renee', Michael, Sandra,James, and Charity. (Plus a few in-laws)
Time I wake up: Whenever I finally hear my alarm
Unique thing about my car: It's named after my mom (Corla Porolla)
Vegetable I hate: Hmmm....Green Peppers
Ways I run late: Usually just for church (I hate waking up)
X-rays I've had: Spine...I've been in a wreck or two
Yummy food I make: I can make anything
Zoo favorite: Monkeys...they are my favorite

Catch Up

Life can be wonderfully confusing. I am continuously amazed at how complex, yet how simple, it really is. Just when I think I have it figured out, I realize that I don't. What can you do right? I was talking to Aubree yesterday and I realized the innocence and wisdom she possess. I told Aubree my little boy problems. She told me advice that I have given a many times, "Boys break your heart, but then you can eat chocolate and it will make it better." This was true but then she informed me, with great confidence, that a boy would come into my life that would never break my heart. It was impossible not to smile after that comment. She also informed me that she would postpone the Disney World trip until July so I could come with her. I love kids. I don't think there are any greater than my nieces and nephews. They always make me smile. It will be exciting to get 3 more this year. As for school, it is still keeping me incredibly busy. I don't want to go most days but I am preserving. My only other option is to drop out and I am to determined not to do that. I bought a new set of scriptures last week and started to mark them. It is exciting and I am trying to take great care to mark them well. Sandra gave me some amazing pens over Thanksgiving to do marginal notes with. I am loving them. I really love the scriptures. It was hard to part from my old set but I know I will benefit greatly from marking this new one. I also switched to AT&T for my cell phone this week. I love my new phone. No excuses for my family not to call me anymore. It is Valentine's Day this week and I am terribly excited for it. I don't have a Valentine but I love the holiday. Who knows, maybe it will be my last without one;) I am just babbling but I wanted to catch everyone up. I must be more diligent with my blogging.

I had to do a video for a class. Out of laziness I just composed a bunch of pictures of me from the last few years and composed a slide show. It isn't the best but I thought it would be fun to share with everyone out there. Hope you enjoy!

It's Been A While

I got a text from Sandra yesterday telling me that it's been a month since I've blogged. I have thought about blogging a time or two, but I have very little to blog about. My life is still full of many joys and disappointments. I don't always get my way. I hate when that happens. But, that is all part of this life experience. I stay super busy with work and school. Trying to incorporate a social life is difficult, but I really love hanging out with my FHE family this semester. I feel like I have little time to myself. I live at the library. It's no fun and I don't encourage it. I also got a my hot pink cowgirl boots this week. Thanks mom! I really do love them. I wore them to church yesterday but I was super careful not to mess them up. Everyone complimented them. On Friday, I got my haircut. It was a spur of the moment choice, but I really do love the cut. That is my life. I will try to be more faithful when blogging. We are suppose to take FHE family pictures tonight. If we do, I will definitely have to post some!