Sunday, May 2, 2010
Have you ever been through an identity crisis? You know, where you don't feel as if you know yourself, know what you really want, or know what you are doing with your life? Its really kind of depressing. Well, I feel as if I am going through one now. I am really trying hard to "rediscover" myself, but it is harder than I imagined it would be. I feel completely vulnerable, which makes me moody, and I HATE it!!! I really feel like I am doing what I need to be doing with my life right now, so I don't know why I am struggling with the listed questions. It is nice just knowing things. I like to know what I am doing on a daily basis (not to say I don't like a little spontaneity) and where I am going with my life. My life has gotten so out of control! I don't know what I am going to do each day. Even with school and work, it is so overwhelming that I have no clue which assignments I will choose to do. And as for being out of control, I hate it. I don't like giving up control. I am such a control freak that I have to control my desire to control. It is kind of pathetic. Maybe that is one of the reasons I am still single, I haven't found a guy I trust enough to relinquish any control I do have over my life (which is not that much) to give him any. However, I don't feel independent at all, which is odd since control is such a big thing for me. Anyways, those are my random ramblings for today. Hope I didn't sound too terrible pathetic. Until next time.