(1) So what...I am a little, or maybe a lot, weird. I am not scared to pick my nose while driving through town, I unconsciously try to out sing the radio, I enjoy sleeping in as late as I can, sometimes I find myself crying (stinking Idaho does things to you) and I have no clue why I am crying, I really don't like studying and try to avoid it at all cost, and my favorite food groups are breads and fats. I have tons and tons of little "quirks." Some people judge because of them but I will never understand why. I know I am a little weird but I have no clue what "normal" is. I am very happy with the person I have become. I am not saying that I don't want to better myself but I am saying that everyone has their flaw. So next time you see a the girl in the middle of the dance floor dancing with no rhythm (that girl is probably me!) don't critique or judge her but go out and join the party!
(2) O.k so I am not as brave or strong as I want people to believe I am. I like the idea of having someone around that I think can protect me. I like being the girl. Sometimes I want to be able to scream during the scary movie without wondering if people will laugh at me being such a girl. I like the idea of having someone else kill the spider. I want to have someone who will hold me when I am scarred no matter what is scarring me. This might not always be over physical things but sometimes other things scare me to. I am scared of being a old lonely "dog lady", I am scared of failure, and the unknown truly petrifies me. I may try to make people believe that I am stronger than I really am but don't forget that deep down inside I am scared to death. I don't always know how to express that fear though.
(3) Sometimes all I really want is a little flattery and affection. I don't know who doesn't love flattery. Nothing makes you feel better than when someone compliments you. Whether they compliment your hair, clothes, or figure or if they tell you how pretty, smart, ambitious, or amazing you are. There is something about compliments that give you a natural high. I personally enjoy getting them and giving them. I'll even admit that I enjoy them so much that sometimes I even "fish for compliments." If I feel like I did something great I might ask for your opinion just so you can compliment my task. However, as much as I enjoy compliments, I also want the truth. Like I said earlier, I am a little weird so I might think my hair looks amazing when really it looks like I just got finish walking 209 miles in the desert! Please just be gentle when telling me the truth!
(4) Yes, sometimes I cry, get angry, or smile uncontrollably and I can't pinpoint why. When you ask me why I am crying or why I am angry and I don't answer it probably means that I really don't know why I am crying or upset and/or I think it is something too dumb to discuss anyways. Please don't bug me on the subject any more. Just because I don't want you asking me about why I am feeling that way doesn't mean I don't want your attention though. I like to be held and rocked when I am crying. It is comforting. I don't like when questions are asked about why I am crying. The person asking questions usually tries to solve the problem for me which will make me angry! I think I am capable enough to find solutions myself. It is the person who QUIETLY helps you as you work through your very own solutions that often helps the most. I know you may think that I am fickle and you're probably right even though I don't see it that way.
(5) I have dreams! I want to finish college and have a successful career. I want to fall in love! I want to be married in the temple. I want to find someone that is crazy enough to dance with me in the rain but also understands that sometimes I don't even want a rain drop to touch me! I want to be a mom and be able to swing my kids around in the air. I want to have home with a huge library. I want to travel the world. I want to jump out of a plane thousands of feet in the air and feel like a bird as I free fall. (I will have a parachute!) I want to swim with the fish and see the bottom of the ocean floor. I want to make a difference in the world. I know that I might not be able to make all these things happen (who can force prince charming to fall in love with them) but I know that if I put forth my best effort in life great things will happen to me and I will be happy.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Halloween this year was kind of crazy. Mom got to come up to Idaho to spend time with all of us. She was initially suppose to help Mike and Amy pack up and get moved but Charity and I kind of kept her to ourselves. (Sorry Mike and Amy!) Mom and Mike were to leave for TN on Halloween and Amy and I were to head to Ogden so that she could fly to TN the following day. Because it was Halloween Amy wanted to make sure the kids got to go trick or treating. My dad wondered why they couldn't leave Idaho early and just stop at some random neighborhood on their way to TN. I guess men and women just think differently. Anyways, Charity had a costume that she gave me so I dressed up with the kids. We all went trick or treating at the mall. Little Elle even came! I was so excited to see her! I don't think she was as excited to see me though. Little stinker. After trick or treating at the mall we went to Mike's old neighborhood and went trick or treating. Seth is so practical. When the lights were out at someones house he would say, "I guess they went to bed." even if you could see where people were moving around inside and just had lights off so they didn't get trick or treaters. I think the hardest part of the night was seeing the kids go trick or treating at their old house. The people who are buying the house moved in on Halloween. After trick or treating I got to play with the kids at McDonald's for a while with was really fun. I really love those kids and I can't wait to see them in December. It will be a real treat seeing all my nieces and nephews! That was my Halloween. I can't complain...I wouldn't have chosen to spend it any other way!