Saturday, September 25, 2010

Dear Sandra, With Love

I have been contemplating our phone conversation the other day. You know, the one where you bluntly told me that I need to stop looking for the perfect man and start looking for the man that is perfect for me. Here is my official response:

It is much easier to look for a perfect man. Why? Because perfect is easily defined: attractive, strong (bulging biceps and all), smart, ambitious, great kisser, potential to be a great father one day, fun, outgoing, ability to love me even when I am crazy, loves sunsets and stargazing, clean, smells good all the time, makes me laugh, and can have intelligent arguments with me one minute and make me giggle like I am five the next. I am sure I could add many, many more things to my list. However, this is not addressing the issue. I am absolutely positive there are very few, if any, men who are deserving of the title perfect.

The issue is that I have no clue what the perfect man for me is like. I cannot define him. I don't think I can define him without getting to know him first. Maybe I should take the time to get to know myself better as well. Getting to know him and myself are both very scary things. I don't want to take the chance to get to know him. For taking that chance means chancing rejection. I have had enough rejection to last me for a lifetime. But even worse, what if as I get to know myself I find myself so flawed that I begin not to like myself?

Thus, I think I will maintain my stance that I should be overly picky and look for the perfect guy. It is easier and seems to be much less risky.

Love Always,


Sandra said...

Rebekah, I love you first and foremost! I so enjoyed this blog. You have a talent for writing! You are very right you won't know what is perfect for you until you find it. But you will never find it if you don't give people chances. You can't dismiss people for trivial things that do NOT matter in the long run. You will find the perfect man one day and guess what.....he might not be perfect for you. Then one day you will find a man flawed who is absolutely perfect for you. And you two will live happily ever after.
Beck, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Thanks for constantly teaching me.

Mountainrose said...

I was given this advice when I was much younger.

Do not look for someone to love, Love will find you.

Do not settle for someone you can live with. but settle for somoene you can not live without.

Having been married 33 years. I was totally taken off my feet when I first met the man I am married to. 33 years and counting. He's my first last and only Love.