Monday, November 8, 2010

It goes on...

Life seems to be and endless struggle. Yet, it is also filled with smiles, tickle fights, and experiences I'll never forget. So, I got a little too courageous this weekend; I don't regret it. I finally asked the boy I had liked for forever why he never took me on a date. Although his answer was vague (something about "feelings"), I am totally okay with everything now. I realized that in reality he was a bad idea anyways. I am glad I am able to let that idea go and be open to new opportunities. It is amazing how many opportunities we give up at times because we keep waiting for one particular opportunity. I am not going to lie, at first I was bitter, mad, frustrated, liberated, and a bit devastated. Now, I feel more liberated than anything. However, part of me wishes things were different, but for the most part, I really am okay and I am over it. So, I keep telling myself that. Now, my main concern is awkwardness. I am probably the most awkward girl in the world and I don't even realize I am awkward until I reflect on different experiences. I know where to go from here, but at the same time, I am so stinking lost! I look forward to seeing my sisters. I know that they will have lots of insight for me. That is only 2 weeks away.

I also know that I deserve somebody who can feel for me and fully appreciate me. Thus, I am glad this little "crush" is over. Because I know that somewhere, there is an amazing gentleman out there who is capable of making me so happy. He might not be what I am looking for, but he will be exactly what I need. Until this young man comes into my life, I am going to live it up! So, maybe I should thank ole boy for never taking me out. He gave me the opportunity to explore so many other roads. I am sure some of them will be rough, but if we didn't have rough roads in life how would we learn to appreciate the smooth ones?


Anonymous said...

Your amazing!!! :)

Sandra said...

You are amazing! And I can't wait to see you! It sure is getting close!
Here's the thing....when you meet the person who you are suppose to be with then all these other boys will just seem silly. And you really can thank them for not loving you back.
I love you!