Life is crazy. I never know what to say or when to say the things I want to say. It is hard to know what I will or won't regret until I take a certain action. A lot of times, I feel like I am walking in the dark. I don't like walking in the dark. Life is too short to be filled with regrets, but how will I know what I will regret until after I have done or said something?
I feel like I used to be a lot more confident in my decision making skills. Now, I feel like I am the worst at making decisions. I think I used to think more with my head and now I think more with my heart. I hate that. My heart allows me to hope for things when I shouldn't always hope for them. It is my hope that life will magically work out. It takes more than hoping to live a fulfilling life.
I have been having a super hard time thinking about this semester coming to an end. Two of my good friends will be graduating and leaving. I have a fear of being alone when they move home. The solution would be to make more friends now, but I don't want to. I want to soak up every moment I can with these amazing friends before they leave. The problem is, life happens and time flies. Before you realize it, you are out of time and you haven't gotten all the things you wanted to accomplish accomplished.
In my head it all boils down to priorities. I understand that school and family should takes highest priority. But, I would like to make it high up on other peoples priority list, especially when I make them high on my list. Does that make me high maintenance? I sometimes feel guilty for this having particular mindset.
That's my life. Don't get me wrong, I am happy, but I am also confused. That doesn't make me happily confused. I think it makes me more naive than anything.