Monday, May 9, 2011

Ramblings of a Beke

So, I have decided that few people read my blog so I can really write whatever I feel matter how crazy it sounds at the moment. But in the end, I blog for me because I find it therapeutic.

1. I feel like I am a horrible verbal communicator. If you want to know how I am really feeling about something ask me to put it in a letter. I enjoy writing. I am also braver and bolder when writing a letter. A pen empowers me. I no longer feel vulnerable with a pen in my hand but I feel as if I can be as bold as necessary to convey a point.

2. Nature soothes me. I love nature and almost everything it consists of. I remember perfect windy days when I was younger and going outside with the belief that I could fly. Thus, I would outstretch my arms. Hunting and fishing with my siblings was also a sweet experience. I miss the woods behind my house and the sweet smell of honeysuckle.

3. I am an animal lover. I was looking at a picture of James with our old cat Tiger and recalling sweet memories with those stinkin cats, and I am not a cat person at all. I remember putting a sleeping bag on the porch and lying in the sleeping bag. The cats (Socks, Tiger, and Oreo if I remember right) would crawl in the sleeping bags and keep my feet nice and warm. I loved it. However, this may be the only time you ever hear me admit that cats aren't too terribly bad.

4. I hate being alone at night. It is no secret that I am a cuddler. I love the security I feel when I am being cuddled. I especially loved being cuddled at night because I often have nightmares that horrify me, you know they type that wake you up and you almost fear going back to sleep because the nightmare could continue. I hate waking up from a nightmare and being alone. Unfortunately, I usually am alone when waking up from a nightmare.

5. Failure and the unknown petrify me. I want to be a success at life. I don't know what success for me will look like. I am finishing up my degree in teaching (currently student teaching) and everyday I hope that I don't mess up the kids. Charity says believes that "the kids of America will be okay" as long as I am a teacher. I know this is a joke but I hope she is right. I don't want to fail my students. I already love each of my current and future students so much. Plus, they may be the closest thing I ever get to youngsters of my own.

6. My family is the most important thing to me. I love them each so much. I often feel guilty because I don't show or express my love for them enough. They have always been there for me not matter how dumb or crazy I get. For this fact alone I love them.

7. I love, love, did I say love s'mores! They are like a little bit of heaven in my mouth each time I eat them. I remember camping when I was younger and eating so many s'mores that my face was covered in sticky marshmallow. Oh, and I also burn my marshmallows on purpose...

8. I hate reading blogs about how great someone's spouse is or how much they love marital bliss. I feel like some people include these subjects in every blog. Sometimes I want to shout and say, "Thanks for rubbing it my face!" I want to hear about life when I read my family and friends blog, not a 2,000 word essay on how wonderful and delightful their spouse is. I don't mind stories about their family and spouses, but I hate the mushy stuff.

Welp...that is eight tidbits about me. I know...random but true.


Sandra and Brent said...

Hahahaha. That last one made me laugh. It also makes me want to go back and see if I am one of the offenders!
It's true, family loves us no matter how crazy we are.

Amy Eaton said...

Hope you are enjoying teaching. All you Eaton's love to Cuddle ;)

momma kay tee said...

you said it sister.
i read your blog! and i'm a stranger. but i think quite like you.... didn't mean to creep you out. :)

Katie B. said...

I love this Beke! Way to bare that beautiful soul. You are an amazing teacher. When you don't feel so amazing think about the awesome grades THEE SIS.KAY gave you. SHE LOVES YOU!!

keep being crazy.

Renee and Jake said...

You sure are blogging alot these much i can barely keep up reading but I like everytime I check, you have a new one.