Sunday Thoughts

This summer has been filled with so many trials for myself and so many I am surrounded by.  As I have watched my dear friends and family face adversity so valiantly I have found it hard to complain about the small mishaps in my life.  Still, hidden behind my smiles and laughter are so many wants and desires.  Maybe I keep so many of my thoughts to myself because I feel guilty for wanting more after I have already been so abundantly blessed, or so I can appear fierce, rather than vulnerable, or maybe it's because my trials and struggles are so petty compared to others.  Regardless of the reason, they are mine and no one else’s.  For that reason, I hold them dear.   

Yesterday, I struggled more than I’d like to admit as I fought my inner-self.  Then I went to sacrament meeting today.  The talks today were on pioneers, not my favorite subject.  Usually, I tune out during the Pioneer Day talks.  After all, my ancestors didn’t cross the plains so how do these talks really relate to me?  However, today’s speakers caught me off guard as they captivated me.  There was one talk given by a young woman who talked about how she was a pioneer for her family.  Another speaker talked about the pioneers of this area.  The last speaker talked about lessons learned from pioneers.  She had an ancestor that died crossing the plains with her family. After sharing this story, she speaker posed the question that many of ask during times of trials.  Her ancestor was doing exactly what the Lord had asked of her and she still died. She then said her ancestor might have thought, “Lord, I did everything you asked of me and I still died.  What’s the point?” She then expounded, Joseph Smith must have been asking a similar question when he received this revelation (D&C 121: 7-10)

7. My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

8. And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt the on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes

9. Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friends hands.

10. Thou are not yet as Job; thy friends do not contend against thee, neither charge thee with transgressions, as they did Job.

How many scripture stories are there of prophets who followed the Lord perfectly and things did not end well for them.  Joseph Smith and Job have already been mentioned.  She also mentioned Abinadi.   Being burned alive is definitely not a desired outcome.  That struck home for me.  How many times within the past week, month, or year have I asked the question, “Why is this happening to me?  I’m doing all thou has asked of me so what’s the point?”  Maybe there are lessons left for me to learn in order to best serve in the Lord’s kingdom in the future.  Maybe it is not the season for me to experience certain things.  Maybe, as one dear sister commented in Relief Society, we need to experience trials so we can feel comfortable in the presence of those such as Job after we depart this mortal life. 

The speaker went on to discuss prayers.  How many times has a new mother prayed for sleep only to find her infant still wakes up multiple times a night?  She brought up a blog that discusses this.  (I’m pretty sure this is the link to the blog https://www.lds.org/blog/how-to-pray-in-a-way-god-can-answer?lang=eng) The blogger mentions that as a new mom she often did pray for sleep.  Then she read this passage in the Bible Dictionary under prayer, “We pray in Christ’s name when our mind is the mind of Christ, and our wishes the wishes of Christ—when His words abide in us.”  The question posed is, “Do my prayers really align with the wishes of Christ?”  So, how do we align our wishes and thoughts with Christ.  The blogger suggest this formula:

My Desire + ”But If” + A Godly Desire

Here is an example the blogger gives of this formula in action, “God, please bless that I will be included in my group of friends, but if not, even if I feel excluded, help me to be kind and generous.”  I’m excited to try this method of prayer.  I will still pray for things my heart desires but will make sure I add the “but if” statement.  

The closing hymn today was “Come, Come, Ye Saints.”  The second verse really stood out to me.

Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard? ‘Tis not so; all is right.

Why should we think to earn a great reward if we now shun the fight?

Gird up your loins; fresh courage take. Our God will never us forsake;

And soon we’ll have this tale to tell—All is well—All is well!

I believe this verse stood out because everyone can relate to it.  When life gets hard “fresh courage take.”  We cannot always understand why things are happening to us but we can have faith that there is a purpose behind our trials and if we endure well we will be blessed.  I truly don’t know what the future holds or why so many of my prayers for righteous desires seemingly go unanswered.  However I do know that, “all these things shall give me experience and be for my good.” (see D&C 122:7)

Things I Love About Life Tonight

Your suspicions about how weird I am are about to be confirmed.  I'm just sitting here on my sister's couch (without pants on because pants are optional at her house) thinking about how much I love my life.  Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of voids in my life and lots of disappointing moments but there  are a few things I love.

1. I love the fact that I'm from the South.  I wanted I eat some healthy vegetables tonight and my first choice on how they should be prepared...FRIED.  If you are wondering, we don't consider fried food unhealthy.  It is simply a way to prepare food just like grilling or pan searing are food preparation methods.  
2. I love that my students know my addiction to chocolate is real.   I had a student bring me a half opened chocolate bunny.  She told me she gave it to me because she knew how much I loved chocolate.  Did I eat it?  No!   The gesture warmed my heart though.  
3. Speaking of gifts,  another student brought me a cup with dirt and grass.   It's currently sitting in my classroom window.  I'm not sure if it had any seeds or anything that is living (i.e. You know something that has roots) in it.  I guess time will tell.  
4. The fact that Pandora has a Cinco de Mayo radio station...enough said. 

I Blame It On The Weather!

That moment when you have so much you want to write and blog about and have no clue how to put it all in words.  I used to consider myself very fluent in professing my thoughts through writing.  Now, I feel as if I am unable to adequately express my thoughts or feelings verbally or in writing. 

With age, I have learned how to bridle my tongue when necessary.  (Okay…maybe not every time but I think I have shown vast improvement.)  However, I have also become more timid and no longer voice all the things I NEED to say.  Often, my thoughts and dreams stay trapped because they are mine!  They are no one else’s to criticize.  Still, I wonder how many of my unspoken thoughts have needed to be heard.

Not that today’s words need to be read or need to be said, but I have been overfilled with gratitude today.  I don’t know if it is the glorious spring weather that has brought this overwhelming feeling or if sitting in the solitude of my home has forced me to ponder.  Regardless of what brought upon this sentimental gratitude, I feel inclined to share a few of the things I am grateful for.

1.     My friends.  I have the best friends a girl could ever ask for. They have all come into my life at a perfect time and give so much to me!  They are always willing to give an encouraging word or listen to my silly rampages.  I often assume that my feelings of gratitude and love for them are implied.  Thus, I don’t verbally express how important and needed they truly are in my life.  Each of my friends meets such different needs/demands in my life. 

2.     My Self Confidence: I was an awkward little monster growing up!  It is almost painfully embarrassing to think of the horrible perms, the constantly runny nose, the garbled speech, and the lack of motor skills I had.  You can imagine that it was difficult for me to feel really great about myself.  It took a really long time but I am so glad that I have come to discover who I am.  I feel like I am truly beginning to discover what I am truly capable of doing!  Life is a crazy, scary ride for those who don’t know their place in this seemingly big world.

3.     My Family: My family is an odd little family (well, maybe not little).  Each one of my family members has their own quirks that drive the rest of us batty!   Still, I can’t imagine another group of people I’d rather learn and grow from.  They have shown me so much love and mercy throughout my life.  Each has set and example for me.   

I could go on and on about the things I am grateful for.  I know I didn’t mention several things I am thankful for.  Partially because I feel as if I have already gotten too wordy and partially because I feel like it should be implied that I am thankful for certain things.  There you have it…my incomplete Sunday ramblings.

Being a Big Fish in a Little Pond

The past few weeks I have really, I mean REALLY loved church.  The services, lessons, and songs have had significant lessons in them just for me.  However, today, I slacked off and skipped Sunday School. That's right...living on the edge.  I got to talk to one of my very favorite ladies in the ward and of course the subject of my future came up.  My future...something I've been both thinking about and putting off thinking about for a while now.

Those who know me are very aware of the fact I am turning the BIG 3-0 this year.  Am I where I thought I would be at 30? Not at all.  I'm supposed to be stay-at-home mom with lots of perfect, intellectual, kids (that never ever stink or make messes), a successful husband, and a perfectly tidy house.  Yet, here I am with none of the above likely to happen in the near future.  What my future holds...Who knows?

Anyways...back to the conversation.  I was talking about where I thought I'd be and verbally expressed how perplexed I am by the fact that I am still single.  To express my confusion about being single, I made the comment that I am a pretty good catch.  I pointed out that I was attractive, smart, educated, domestic, versatile, healthy, and able to be self sufficient.  I stated that I was pretty perfect so I didn't understand why there didn't seem to be any single men casting their hooks my way.  The lady responded...you can't be caught in a pond where there are no fishers!  How profound.

So, then the question arises: How do you get fishers to fish in the pond your swimming in? Here are my thoughts...

1. Find a new pond (i.e Long Distance Move)
1. This is a viable options for young fish.  Those fish who haven't adapted.  For older fish, this may be easier said than done.  Plus, how does one guarantee that the fishers in other ponds will provide the right kind of bait to make one want to be caught?
2. Find where all the other fish are hanging out
1. The trick to this is to find where fish similar to you are hiding out.  A fisher doesn't go fishing for trout in hope to catch a bass.  This is especially hard when you are an endangered breed of fish.  There are Singles' Wards, but that isn't a promise that the fish there will want you to be part of their school or that you would even fit in with their school.
2. The other pond would be the pond of online dating.  My sisters lovingly got me an online dating account for Christmas.  It is just a turnoff for me to meet someone online.  What happened to actually being courted?  A guy can't exactly open your car doors for you when you online dating and anyone who really knows me knows that the whole car door thing is a really, really big deal for me.
3. Enjoy being the best fish in the pond and boast about the skills and awkwardness it takes to refrain from being caught.
1. This is the safest and most comfortable option.  This seems to be the option I am happiest with.  Subconsciously this fish seems to like being unique and different.  This fish seems to purposely be avoiding being caught. Yet, "You can't grow in a comfort zone and you can't be comfortable in a growth zone."

Now that I've expressed my random and jumbled thoughts I am genuinely curious what others' thoughts are.

Sisters, Sisters

I may or may not be one of the luckiest girls in the world.  Why? Funny you should ask.  It's simple, I have been blessed with the three most unique, caring, and funny sisters in the world.  Notice, I didn't say friendly.  Sometimes they are a little too honest and bold.  I know when they are bold or harsh with me it is because they honestly know me.  They know when I am being too critical of myself, too judgmental of others, or not judgmental enough.  With that being said, I want to take a moment and tell what makes each of my sisters special to me.

Renee: Renee' is the oldest sibling in my family.  She has always been a "little mother" to us.  Renee' is nurturing.  She is the most giving and selfless individual that I have had the privilege of not only being acquainted with but to to be a recipient of her abounding love.  Renee' also developed my father's work habits.  She is a mother, a wife, a student, a real estate agent, and works a job at night.  I honestly don't know how she does it and still manages to make everyone she meets feel special and show them that she cares.  Renee' is a nurturer, a hard worker, and a true friend.

Sandra: You won't catch me writing nice things about Sandra every day.  Sandra is the sister I shared my room with growing up.  We shared our most personal secrets and desires with each other in that tiny room.  If you have earned Sandra's friendship you have earned the friendship of a most devoted person. She can be your greatest friend or your greatest enemy.  I promise you that you would much rather her be your friend.  Sandra is genuine like that.  She won't say something just because you want her to say it.  She is completely honest, even when the truth sucks.  If she does something for you, it is because she wants to, not because she feels obligated to.  She will help anyone who will help themselves.  I love Sandra's firmness and will.  She is a great example.

Charity: Charity is the optimist.  She is such a happy person.  If you have had the honor of knowing Charity for a while, you have witnessed some of the hard trials she has had to overcome and she always does so with a smile on her face.  She has a way of taking the most horrible experiences and finding something positive in them.  Charity is radiant and not afraid to let herself shine.  Charity is one of my most trusted friends.  She has taught me how truly love others and not be afraid to smile.  She has let me know that sometimes it is okay to allow myself to be vulnerable and overcome my fear of expressing myself.  She is five years younger than me and has still found ways to teach me and help me grow.  If you haven't experienced the light that beams from Charity, you are missing out on something special.

These three ladies are truly my best friends and have too many amazing characteristics to write about. I love them each and I am grateful that each is willing to let me be in their life and are teaching me to be a better lady by example.

All In A Day

I just looked in the mirror and I pray that I didn't look like such a hot mess all day.  No telling.  After all, I am with kiddos most of the day.  This morning started off pretty dang good.  I slept in until 6:00.  After I got ready I sat down and actually ate, that's right ate--not drank--my breakfast.  If only I could have cuddled up with a good book and read all day...

But that's not the way my life goes.  I have to go to work.  As a teacher, I have to plan to be off work.  I'd almost rather go to work sick then try to get things ready for a sub at the last minute.  So, I bid farewell to warm thoughts of spending this cool day with a book.  Hence, the reason I am writing this post.

My students can be brutally honest.  Yesterday a student told me I looked like I was getting ready to have a baby.  Really? Honestly?  She really knew how to make a girl feel good about herself...or not.  Then today happened. I always allow a student to pick a book off my bookshelf to read after activity.  Today the student picked a book I wrote and illustrated when I was a student at BYU-Idaho.  The back of the book had my author's page with this picture and my students just had to see it.  

After they saw it one student said, "You used to be pretty." Then another student commented, "You were a lot prettier then."  Last followed by, "You used to wear makeup."  (Yes, I did have on make-up today when he said this.) Really???  So, yesterday you tell me I look like I'm having a baby and today you tell me that I am no longer pretty... Thanks for smashing my dreams of being a beauty queen and ruining my self image kiddos.

On the bright side, other comments I heard were, "I can tell you used to be a doctor because you have on a white shirt and something around your neck."  I wanted to compliment the student for making an inference but instead felt it necessary to correct her. 

Seriously...these comments make me laugh.  They are often what keep me going after long nights spent lesson planning and getting ready to see the kids again.  Do I love my job? Honestly, NO.   Do I love my kids and enjoy spending time with most of them...Well, YES...that I do love.

Whole 30 Misconceptions

I'm in the process of completing my second Whole 30 and I am pretty excited about it.  Today is day 7 for me.  The first few weeks are always rough and I didn't feel the magic until close to week 4 in my first Whole 30.  Still, it was worth it.

Anyways, to the point.  Today I was at church and I mentioned how tired I was.   My mom then stated, "It's that diet you're on."  Another gentleman in the lobby then commented, "You don't need a diet.  If you loose any weight you are going to blow away."  These are my thoughts on that conversation.

First of all a diet isn't some 30 day meal plan you do.  A diet is part of your lifestyle.

Second, I'm not fat.  I know I'm not fat.  In my opinion I look pretty dang good.  I am not completing a Whole 30 to loose weight.  I am completing another Whole 30 because:

1. I want to be healthy.  I am responsible for my health and I want to live a healthy lifestyle.  One day, when I become a parent, I will be responsible for the health of my children.  I want to be able to live a healthy lifestyle to set an example for them.  I also want to be able to actively participate in my life and their lives.  Rather this be hiking with them, playing ball with them, or whatever other activity is demanded of me in order to spend quality time with them.  I don't want my health to limit the relationship I have with my family.
2. I want to perform my best.  I didn't notice my gym performance improve during or even immediately after my first Whole 30 until months after off-roading and then looking at my gym times during and immediately after the Whole 30.  Turns out, I was stronger when I was eating real food.  By real food, I mean food that has not be overly processed.  I want to be strong--Not just so I can have better times at the gym, but so I can better handle whatever life throws at me.
3. I get a sense of satisfaction knowing that I have enough willpower to complete a Whole 30.  It lets me know that I can be in control of what I put in my body.  I don't have to let food control me.
4. I realize that I have a sugar addiction.  Let's be honest, when you start crying over not being able to eat a piece of candy (a type that you really don't even care for) because you would do anything for the satisfaction that a sweet treat brings you have an addiction.  I cried over not being able to eat certain "foods" in my first Whole 30 and I have cried during this Whole 30.  At night, I dream about all the food I am not allowing myself to eat right now.  (It's not that I can't eat it.  I am making a conscious choice not to eat it.)  This lets me know that I have an unhealthy relationship with food and I need to do something about it.
5. Last but not least, I am doing the Whole 30 because real food is worth it.  Twinkies, Snickers, Mac-N-Cheese, etc. is not real food!  It is processed and modified junk.  I'm not saying I don't enjoy eating this junk every now and then but it isn't real food.  Meat, fruits (not in heavy corn syrup), vegetables, nuts, and seeds are REAL food.   

So yes, I will let my body be tired feel tired for a few measly day, allow myself to dream about sweet concoctions, and even allow myself to feel like I want to dropkick kittens every now and then during my Whole 30.  This is all part of detoxing and it is scary that I am eating foods that will allow me to feel like this when I remove them from my diet. For me, it is worth it.  I am not saying it is the right path for you but the only way you will ever know is if you try it out yourself.

Ramblings, Thoughts, and Vents

Before I type anything, I already know how much I am going to probably regret this post!  Still, I'm just gonna let it happen because tonight I don't really care.  Besides, it's really not my business what anyone else thinks of me.  With that being said, here is what is on my mind.

I am so tired of fitspiration posters with women with six packs.  Who cares if you have a six pack or not.  A six pack is not necessarily an indicator of health.  Don't you remember the battle over skinny models and girls all thinking they have to be skinny?  Well, now the new "fad" is a six pack.  Yes, I'll admit that I would love to have a six pack.  I don't have one.  That doesn't mean that I am not healthy.  I know I am healthy and I think I am pretty dang good looking if I can say so myself--one pack and all.  


Now to my next item of business.  I have been thinking about this quote a lot lately:

"If it is important to you, you will find a way.  If not, you'll find and excuse."  

Well, I am guessing that six pack is not as important to me as cupcakes!  Seriously, I have thought about this quote and relationships.  I think that we find a way to stay in contact with people that are important to us.  I'm not just talking about being friends on Facebook contact but genuine contact. Rather it is randomly calling or checking on a person to check on them or actually having "real" time with that person.  I think of all the people I've meet.  I only stay in contact with a small percentage of them.  Guess I know who is important enough to me to make the effort.  Life is about choices, we choose who we want in our lives.  On the other hand, people have to choose to let us in their lives.  I could go deeper and further with this one but I will just say that I don't beg to be part of anyone's life or to have any type of relationship with anyone that doesn't put forth the effort to have a relationship with me.

The quote also has me thinking about life goals and dreams.  There are things I say I want to do, and I really do want to do them, but I am not doing them.  Guess they are just not important enough to me to be a priority.

Last little ramble: I went to the single's branch today.  I didn't go with any intention of meeting "the one" or whatever you want to call it. (I know that there is no "the one" by the way...don't get me started on that.)  I simply went because I am bored and I wanted to meet new people.  Still, I hate how it is sometimes treated like a meat market.  I am not there to "get on anyone."  I won't say it wouldn't be a perk though.  I just think people should be treated as people and that includes not treating the branch like a meat market.

There, I'm done...with all that I am going to allow myself to say out loud.  Sweet Dreams.

2012 and Things I know

Twenty-Twelve is almost over!  It is hard to believe.  I don't know if I got too terribly much accomplished this year, but I like to think that I am a better person than I was a year ago.  So, as the year ends I am going to declare 10 things I know...

1) The church is true.  Even if I wanted to deny this fact, I couldn't.  How do I know?  Because I have had days where I have wanted to deny it and couldn't.

2) I love my students. They drive me crazy, test my patience, and bring so much joy and happiness to my life.  I don't have kids of my own, so it is nice to be loved by so many children and to know that they are mine for 8 hours a day.

3) My nieces and nephews are the cutest things ever.  They have wonderful parents.  Each one is such a unique individual and I know each one has the potential to change the world

4) Family is everything.  Sometimes I can be pretty mean to my family. Still, they are always there and show me more love than I sometimes feel like I deserve.

5) I love CrossFit!  It has truly changed me...I could go on about this, but won't.

6) It is possible to maintain long distance relationships with friends.  My 4 best friends are all at least 1,500 miles away and I still feel as close to them as I did when we all lived less than a block away.  I just miss cooking, cuddling, and star-gazing with them.

7) If you don't put yourself "out-there" you won't get results.  This is true in so many aspects of your life.  Even failure is a result.  You won't always succeed, but you will never know what the result will be if you don't try.

8) Be happy.  The only other choice is to be grumpy.  That doesn't sound fun at all.

9) Just do it!  If you want something go out and get it.  Talking about it doesn't get you anywhere.  This is definitely advice I should follow more often.

10) I am less than a year and a half from turning 30!  YIKES!!!

My Latest New Obessions

I may have a weird obsession with cleaning my ears lately.

I am nervous I am going to go to the doctor one day and he is going to think I have really nasty ears if I don't clean them MULTIPLE times a day.

 

I may be obsessed with granola.

This is to the point I delay getting in the shower because I can't eat the granola while I am in the shower.  Today I sat and pondered how I could manage to eat granola in the shower and avoid getting it wet.

I am obsessed with the way my Mr. Clean with Febreeze bathroom cleaner smells.

I can smell it all throughout the house every time I clean.  I would probably just sit and sniff it out of the bottle if I didn't think it would kill my brain cells.

Alma 32

There is so much on my mind.  So, I am going to write in paragraph format tonight and hope I don't ramble and become boring.

I finished my study of The Book of Mormon yesterday morning.  Today, sacrament meeting focused on The Book of Mormon.  I had the opportunity to hear a member's conversion story and how The Book of Mormon played a large role in his conversion.  It is always refreshing to hear converts' testimonies of The Book of Mormon.  I listen to their testimonies with awe because I have never been without the book and don't understand how life would be without the fullness of the gospel.  I am glad that he was so willing to share his conversion story.

He mentioned reading about faith in Alma 32 during his talk.  This is the second time within the past few weeks that a friend had mentioned that particular chapter about faith and had been meaning to reread the chapter since my first friend mentioned the chapter.  I had wondered how faith played a role in my life outside of believing the basic principles of the church.  For example, "How does faith play a role in my daily decisions as an educator?" or "How does faith make a role in the small decisions I make on a daily basis such as what I eat?"  I also wondered how faith played a role in how I perceived my future.

So, I may or may not have chose to read Alma 32 while the last speaker spoke in sacrament.  I am still researching to find answers to my questions.  Still, the answer that came to me today was how inner connected faith and hope were.  Sometimes I feel like I have faith but I do not have hope.  Then, I wonder if one can have faith and not have hope. 

In conclusion, life is going to be hard no matter what.  The things that are bothering me now will probably seem so small in a few months.  I have a lot to learn about faith and hope.  Maybe my lack of faith and hope are connected to how self-centered I can be at times.  I don't know.  So, I am going to try to find ways to serve others and nourish the seed of faith I have and learn to hope.  While I am dong this, I will keep smiling.  After all, tomorrow is another day.

More Sunday Ramblings

I have been off sugar for 24 hours and I am pretty sure I am having DT's.

My body is constantly sore.

I had an epic fail while trying to go salsa dancing.

I feel like I spend too much time with six year olds.

I miss grown up time.

Being over-animated is overrated but part of being a teacher.
Lesson planning consumes my life.
I don't think fried pickles should count as carbs.
Bacon is probably the food of the Gods.
I may be a little too competitive.
I think too much...maybe I am ADHD.
The thought of becoming a cougar has been entertaining me.
I miss star gazing with my besties.

Thoughts about Ether

 I finished the book of Ether today.  I am almost finished reading the Book of Mormon this year.  I try to read it at least once a year.  Anyways, today as I was reading I was struck by Coriantumr's reaction when he noticed that his people were really going to be destroyed because he chose not to repent.  He mourned but, "would not be comforted." (See Ether 15:3)  I can only imagine the sadness that comes with seeing men, women, and children fighting until death and their bodies heaped upon the Earth.  Yes, I visualize the wars every time I read about them.  It makes scripture study so much more exciting!

Although my trials in life are nowhere near compared to Coriantumr's and I am pretty sure I make better choices than he made I often wonder how often I refuse to be comforted.  How many times are we told in Isaiah that "His hand is stretched out still" no matter what.  I have struggled with some things lately and I wonder if I would be struggling so much if I allowed myself to be comforted.  I wonder if how my attitude towards myself and others would differ if I swallowed my pride.

I am going to try to allow myself to be comforted.  Maybe then will I embrace the great things in my life and the not so great things won't seem as significant.

Thoughts for the Day

This has been a crazy, busy, stressful week for me!  

Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe how I am feeling.

I finally got moved into my classroom but it is still a mess.

I still don't feel like I know where everything in my classroom is.

I should probably just take a few deep breaths.

I realized how much I HATE hospitals.

The would have, should have, could haves in life really make me contemplate.

I am still petrified of the unknown.

The idea of moving still intrigues me.

Life is too short to have regrets.

A Few Things

I have an unhealthy relationship with s'mores.

Looks like I am teaching FIRST, not second, grade next year.

My new classroom is a mess.

I backsquatted 175 pounds tonight.

I strung thirty-one double-unders tonight.

Turns out I do NOT hate my dog.

I can't wait for Cheesecake Factory this week:

White Chocolate Caramel Macadamia Cheesecake rocks my world!

I can't talk myself into washing and vacuuming my car.

My introduction PowerPoint for my students talks about my love for bacon...

I don't want summer to come to an end.

Mom

I saw this quote on a sign today and thought of my mom:

"Goodly mothers give life and then teach their children how to live it."

Even though I have been reminded more than once in my life that I was an "accident" and my mom cried when she found out she was preggo with me (not tears of joy) I think my mom is thankful she gave me life.  At least, I hope she is.  If carrying me in her womb for nine months and birthing me wasn't enough, she has taught me how to live. Here are a few examples of how:

• Mom  taught me how to laugh at the crazy things in life.  Unfortunately, I still inherited my dad's dry sense of humor.
• Mom taught me the importance of family and continues to do so.  Mom loves her family to be around and I don't know if anything makes her happier than all her children and grandchildren being around her at one time.   She loves family and makes family a top priority.  
• Mom taught me how to serve those in need.  Although her service is often done behind closed doors she is constantly serving others.  
• Mom taught me to be clean.  Let's be honest, I definitively didn't get my OCD clean traits from my dad.
• Mom taught me to believe in myself.  I remember when I would have rough days in primary school or even in college.  Mom reminded me that I was "special" (hopefully not in a mentally handicapped way) and that I could do anything I put my mind too.
• Mom taught me to cook.  I still haven't reached my mom's status when it comes to making cornbread or banana pudding but I plan on giving her a run for her money one of these days.
• Mom taught me how to be a true friend.  My mom has always been there for other people and her children.  She is concerned for the welfare of others and is always willing to give a listening ear. She will also give advice rather you want it or not.
• Mom taught be how to be opinionated.  Actually, she taught this to all of her kids.  This can be why family gatherings can be somewhat interesting at times.  Still, she taught me how to stand up for myself and what I believe.  Standing up for what you believe can be hard in this crazy world we live in today, but she made sure I had a backbone.
• Mom taught me the importance of following my dreams. Mom never went to college but she made sure all her children did in order to follow their dreams in their chosen profession.  I love hearing her brag about how proud she is of all six of her children.
• Mom taught me how to love.  Mom has the biggest heart of anyone I know.  She cares for those around her and truly "mourns with those that mourn."  I think I am a big squish when it comes down to it because of her.

In short, my mom rocks.  She makes me laugh and I love the memories I have made with her over the years.  She is a wonderful woman  with an infinite amount of wonderful characteristics.  Yes, she can be a bit crazy but I still aspire to become like her one day. 

Here's to the mom's who love their family and teach their children how to "live" and truly embrace life!

Serendipity

When I was little I remember going outside, stretching my arms as wide as they would go, and twirling as the wind blew on my face and laced its way through my hair.  It was days like that I loved.  As I was walking through the park tonight there was one of those perfect winds.  The stars shined brightly above me, the temperature couldn't have been better, and the smell of sweet honeysuckle filled the air.  I reminisced on my childhood days of spinning and twirling.  It was then I realized how great my life really is.

Don't get me wrong, my life is by no means perfect.  However, a good friend last week helped me change my thought process a little.  He reminded me the importance of focusing on what is right in my life and the things I want in my life instead of focusing on the things that aren't going as planned for me.  I have done that this week and I must admit that my outlook on things are getting better.  I feel like that giddy ten year old girl again who wants to dance in the rain and laugh just because she can!  Life truly is great and it is meant to be lived!  So, get out there and live it!  Forget about the things that are bringing you down and focus on things that lift you up!

The Snizard...A Reptile Story

If you know anything about me you know that I am absolutely petrified of snakes.  I don't watch them on t.v. and my heart temporally stops beating when I see one in real life, even if I am in a car and it is outside.  I avoid the amphibian exhibit at the zoo just to avoid the temporary paralysis that comes with it after seeing unnaturally large snakes in cages.  With that being said, I have a story to tell.

Being a tomboy has its perks.  It is fun being about to hang out with the guys but then being able to dress and act like a lady as well.  The downfall of being a tomboy is when there are no boys around to do a boy's job...like killing spiders, lifting heavy things, or catching strange animals.  Tonight, I knew I was going to have to put on my tomboy boots when I heard my mom frantically call out my name.

I went to the back room and she asked, "What is that?"  I looked on the curtain to see a four legged reptile.  It had a long, slinky body (it was probably only about 6 inches but in my head it was 60 inches) and a thin tongue that whipped back and forth.  It was probably half snake and half lizard, thus I am calling it a snizard.

I bravely approached the curtain it was on and went to grab it.  My heart was racing as I reached on my hand.  I trapped it in the curtain it was on thinking I was victorious and went to grab it.  The snizard out thought me and jumped into the toy chest!  I tried to catch it again but it wiggled its way in between dolls, Legos, and toy cars.  I had to empty the toy chest.  Finally, it was me, the snizard, and the chest.  The snizard tried climbing out and failed.  His body looked as if it were seizing.  I was victorious.  I grabbed the snizard and held it for about half a second before it opened it gigantic mouth and tried to bite me!  I am pretty sure it's mouth opened up wide enough to take off my thumb.  In self defense I threw it across the room and let out a piercing yelp!

Lucky for me the snizard landed right back in the toy box.  I took it outside and emptied out the box.  I valued my thumb too much to try catching it again.  Yes, another squeal did escape my mouth as it fell out of the box and into the yard.

The snizard is probably still waiting outside for me with a vengeance.  Still, for now, victory is mine. I beat the snizard!

(This isn't the actual snizard but this is pretty close to what he looked like. This is a random pic someone took of another snizard in Jackson.)

Valentine's Day

I really do love Valentine's Day and I am convinced that I don't tell myself that to make myself feel better on this day.  Yes, I have dated some pretty lame guys, and by lame I mean jerks (and that is putting it mildly).  Still, I am not going to let their choices dictate how I feel about celebrating love and relationships!

I won't lie, I haven't always loved Valentine's Day and it is rare that I have a legit boyfriend on Valentine's Day (and even if I did, I'd hope he wouldn't need an excuse, such as a holiday, to do something nice/sweet for me).  Still, I have the most amazing family and friends who never fail to let me know that I am loved.  They never fail to get me delicious treats, stuffed animals, and/or chocolates.

This year I was bummed out because I missed my class's Valentine's party due to being sick.  Still, when I returned back to work I had the some sweet Valentines sitting on my desk from my students.  Then, yesterday when I came home I had flowers waiting for me in my favorite vase.

Today,  Valentine's Day, one of my favorite students brought me a orange rose.  Orange is one of my favorite colors.  After work I got to go and WOD, which may be one of my favorite things ever.  Then, I got to end my evening with chocolate covered strawberries.

Really, does life get any better?  Why, yes it does.  My four year old nephew asked me to be his Valentine and is taking me on a date this weekend.  I am super excited to get to spend some time with him.  He is a little stud.

So, you don't need to have a "significant other" to love Valentine's Day.  I'm glad I am single on this holiday so I can more fully appreciate how much others love me instead on focusing on the commercial appeal of just trying to do something to prove my love to someone else.  

I hope you enjoyed your Valentine's Day and focused on all the small things in life that let you know you are loved.  Also, I hope you took the opportunity to show those you love you love them by small acts of service.  When you look for the positive and take the time to do something nice for someone else, you can't help but to love life!

I am pretty sure...

• I am pretty sure that I am probably one of the worse drivers in the world. If I had to pass the driving test again, I'd probably fail. 

• I am pretty sure that I have the cutest Valentine in the world. Will (my four-year-old nephew) asked me to be his Valentine today!

• I am pretty sure that I have been having crazy dreams lately with uninvited visitors.  I may or may not end up hurting someone if this visitor keeps showing up in my dreams.

• I am pretty sure that the Jackson Ward has the best Young Women ever. I love them so much and I am so excited to work with them. 

• I am pretty sure that I have a love/hate relationship with my job. I hate going to work everyday but I also don't like not going to work.

• I am pretty sure that I may give the worse advice ever. So, if I ever give you advice you should probably do the opposite of what I tell you to do. 

• I am pretty sure that I look like I've "let myself go" every day I don't put on make-up. 

• I am pretty sure that I am completely happy with my life right now. 

That's all